tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79344719465633475372012-01-31T08:25:09.266-06:00Quitters BlogSpork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.comBlogger2781100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-85762558924976872132012-01-20T11:36:00.000-06:002012-01-20T11:40:52.911-06:00

Our exciting (?) story continues.  As you may recall from our previous episode, I talked about the what and the why of building a house using real money.  Now for the how... The financial how is straight-forward.  I know you think it isn't, but it is.  First off, let me give you the caveat that I am not fresh out of school with a degree and an entry level job.  On the other hand, I am also not a

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-41107648510657457122012-01-11T16:33:00.002-06:002012-01-20T11:28:13.011-06:00

With much fanfare, I would like to point you to my profile, which has been gleefully updated.  Note that it no longer says "in a metal shed" but says "in a real damn house."  That's right, we've moved in. I've mentioned, in not-so-much detail, that we were building a house.  And, more importantly that we had the intention of building it using a ridiculous never-done-ever method: using

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-33653179700778697752011-12-19T21:28:00.000-06:002011-12-19T21:31:20.154-06:00

With the building of our new house, I got permission to build a cathouse.  I got all excited... until I realized it was actually a house... for cats. Oddly enough, it's a problem I've been considering for quite some time.  Consider the following: A. Cat poo is the stink of death B. Dogs love cat poo C. Dogs are affectionate, kissy animals QED: I'm about to hurl Which led me to believe it

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-36267979447905198162011-12-02T18:54:00.001-06:002011-12-02T19:15:46.793-06:00

Let me tell you a story.  There isn't a snarky punchline.  There isn't a lesson to be learned.  It's just a story. There was once a computer geek that worked in a big city.  His office had a huge plate glass window in it... probably 60 feet long from floor to ceiling.  One day while working he noticed a momma cat outside, nursing a tiny kitten.  This was not in a residential area and she was

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-38701858351608596972011-09-23T23:11:00.002-05:002011-09-23T23:12:19.325-05:00

There are lots of concepts in the Bible that are not just bad ideas -- they're downright WRONG.  Morally corrupt.  The one that always jumped out at me is Original Sin.  It's the idea that your Mom and Dad were essentially evil at the core and that makes YOU evil.  And you're going to be punished.  The great10000 grandchild of the parent gets punished for the sins of the parent.  Worse still, the

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-58219628100592604242011-09-20T15:28:00.000-05:002011-09-20T15:31:00.636-05:00

I don't know about you... but this is what I read when I read the recent email from Netflix: Dear Spork, I messed up. I owe you an explanation. It is clear from your feedback over the past two months that you felt I lacked respect and humility in the way I announced my intent to fool around and the crabs I gave you.  That was certainly not my intent, and I offer my sincere apology.  Let me

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-19517330261172267042011-07-26T15:09:00.002-05:002011-07-27T10:21:22.222-05:00

My Chambers Stove project has attracted my attention for much of the last several months... and the world has seemingly gone to hell without my advice.  This. Must. End. As a public service, I offer another "Lesson From the Middle."  It appears the Left and Right at the top of the political food chain have all the cerebral processing power of a wooden log -- the left thinking much in the same

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-28542678066790123612011-04-28T09:53:00.003-05:002011-04-28T09:59:17.101-05:00

Lazy.  That's what you call someone that posts one tidbit every quarter.  Hello, I am lazy, nice to meet you. And this post isn't so much a work of art or a spew of vitriol... It's more of an update. The home front I mentioned here and here we were trying to build a house.  And while the schedule has been oh-so-lax and not-quite-met... I believe it is actually about to begin.  There's a plan. 

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-67359431073419489852010-12-03T19:23:00.001-06:002010-12-21T08:46:37.332-06:00

Geeks everywhere clamor for "Net Neutrality".  Don't tread on me... or my data.  And if the FCC has their way that'll be exactly what happens.  My guess: it isn't going to make the geeks happy.  It's a nice slogan to rally behind... but the reality is quite different. The geeky idea here is that the evil ISPs are stepping all over their packets and making life miserable for them all for the idea

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-63165379801317357822010-11-27T00:09:00.001-06:002010-11-27T00:12:46.976-06:00

I have decided the parable has become a lost literary art. I would like to revive it.There was once a geeky guy named Zeke. Yes, he was Zeke the Geek. He tended to sometimes be a little shy and sometimes had difficulty talking to and meeting girls. Yet, he was an intelligent, successful guy in his own way. He wasn't overly wealthy, but he did alright.One day he was sitting at home alone,

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-54575239103560509422010-10-09T10:30:00.003-05:002010-10-09T10:36:07.423-05:00

This is just a little bit of an update for those that actually know me. [ I've found the vast majority of my "fans" are drive-bys that are presumably at work, bored to tears and are just clicking "next blog, next blog, next blog, next blog" in an effort to make it to 5 o'clock. ] At the first of the year, in between the spittle-spewing rants, I actually mentioned my goal for the year was to

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-60930465664483778282010-09-24T13:29:00.005-05:002010-09-24T13:37:30.703-05:00

Mark Zuckerberg stole my ideas. He owes me $171 million. Sure, I pulled that number out of my ass, but it'd keep my belly full of pork products for the rest of my days -- so it seems about right.As you'll learn over the next few weeks (after the release of Facebook: The Movie) that Mr. Zuckarski has a reputation for stealing of ideas. And he's surely stolen mine.Think about it. What do you

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-54068313087596362372010-07-17T15:00:00.001-05:002010-07-17T15:06:39.145-05:00

Women: I'm looking at you. Sure, some of my super human wisdom below applies to some men... but you are clearly the target here. I don't hate plastic surgery per se. I hate what it's become. If my nose were to get ripped clean off in a freak bird watching incident, I'd want it reattached. And I'd pretty much want it to look like it does now. Not that I am Brad Pitt, I have just become accustomed

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-53544947823484494642010-05-15T17:59:00.003-05:002010-05-15T18:13:29.322-05:00

Everything relates to the wisdom of Rush...1 They say there are strangers who threaten us,In our immigrants and infidels.They say there is strangeness too dangerousIn our theaters and bookstore shelves.Those who know what's best for usMust rise and save us from ourselves.Quick to judge,Quick to anger,Slow to understandIgnorance and prejudiceAnd fear walk hand in hand...There is a disturbing trend

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-89079492704490247722010-04-14T01:07:00.001-05:002010-04-14T01:10:23.726-05:00

There will be a day, somewhere in the future, where future archaeologists dig up the remnants of our society and try very hard to understand us. I suspect the most confusing thing they will find is the battery operated paper towel dispenser. The following is an excerpt from Future Earth paleontologists: ...and much in the same fashion that 20th century humans failed to understand that spending

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-78212126840560785002010-03-16T14:38:00.003-05:002010-03-16T14:40:12.005-05:00

I've known I had mild sleep apnea for a long time. It really doesn't take a high tech lab experiment. All it requires is a wife. I was paying my own high quality, high deductible insurance for several years and put kept putting off getting it checked. As I recently acquired employer paid insurance, I headed off to the Doc like a fat boy waddling towards my fourth plate of food in an

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-71807310369674760592010-01-27T09:47:00.001-06:002010-01-27T09:48:26.745-06:00

This.

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-37343663548416587392010-01-24T13:45:00.001-06:002010-01-24T13:48:59.389-06:00

There seem to be an awful lot of people with a real bug up their ass over the latest Supreme Court decision to ban spending caps on campaign spending by corporations. And, while they have a real right to be angry, it is no surprise that they are mad for entirely the wrong reasons. Please notice the implication: It's okay that our government officials are for sale, the problem is just the price.

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-13245760111553372282010-01-01T13:13:00.003-06:002010-01-01T13:56:11.976-06:00

Ah, the new year. A time for reflection. A time for planning. A time for resolutions. I have never been much of a resolution kind of guy -- resolutions are not easy when you are perfect in every way. But this year is different. This year gets one: I resolve to spend next new year's eve with Ellie May in our very own kitchen.There is a whole lot implied in that statement and if you follow

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-77579438551113286132009-12-28T18:35:00.002-06:002009-12-28T18:38:40.575-06:00

Okay, so one asshole tries to blow up an airplane with a pants bomb... Knee jerk reaction in three-two-one... Ohmygodweneednewrulesnoworwearegoingtodie! The following new rules are now being added during the last hour of flight: no books or personal items no items under the seat in front of you no blankets or items in your laps no bathroom no television or position indicators The

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-78226184415716914122009-12-11T19:01:00.003-06:002009-12-11T19:11:07.628-06:00

Ahh... 'Tis the season for beautiful lights, secret presents and... self persecution. Yes, it's the magical time of year where a whole bunch of crazies stand up, lick their imaginary wounds and declare they are going to fight against... the war on Christmas. Well, let me let you in on a teeny tiny little secret: there isn't one. There never has been one. It's all in your head. Just because

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-42585978904732192642009-11-13T21:32:00.003-06:002009-11-13T21:38:56.279-06:00

Let's ignore Taterize's love of socialized medicine for one brief shining moment. This demotivator photostream is teh awesome. Spork silently bows his head in reverence.

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-59514387760066391802009-11-12T17:47:00.012-06:002009-11-13T08:15:43.166-06:00

My life has been full of pitiful, awful, failed attempts to outsmart rodents.I am hoping to add to that list.To date I have concocted:La Camera de la Rata - a junky, broken laptop hooked up to an outdated web cam pointed at a rat trap in the attic. The drivers were not available except on some South American warez site -- and only in Spanish. Quieres reiniciar? Si / No. No photos of anything

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-45514564616179192912009-10-19T19:08:00.003-05:002009-10-19T19:55:36.095-05:00

It seems to be a new common comparison: Everyone likes the oh-so-socialist concept of the fire department. And it's just like universal health care! How in the world could you be against firemen, with their washboard abs and pinup calendars and fancy trucks and cute spotted dogs. They're the same damn thing as socialized medicine, so just get off your greedy bastard capitalist ass and pay up.

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-55753800083940103582009-10-03T12:17:00.002-05:002009-10-03T12:25:07.907-05:00

[Perhaps a more appropriate title would have been "Roman Bone and Skate" ... since that is more exact vernacular... but I truly thought that was too much of a stretch for people to get. See, I do edit sometimes.]As always, what is interesting to me is not the actual stuff that happens. It's the failure to generalize. That seems to be a real theme for me. We all know what happened. It's been in

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-53935882502587153672009-10-01T21:59:00.004-05:002009-10-01T22:07:22.317-05:00

Ah, at last! Here in the land of Jesus, where alcohol is banned from the entire county... We find refreshment of an interesting sort here at the county fair!But if you look really really closely, you'll see the ultimate in marketing speak:Pina Coladas and Daiquiris. REFRESHING DRINK MADE WITH RUM Extract.

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-45451935867323157322009-09-26T09:32:00.001-05:002009-09-26T09:34:34.385-05:00

Well crap. I've spent a good bit of spare time over the past week or so digging through government web sites. My intent was to show that the whole Constitutional argument for the power of Congress to create a new health care plan is based on the scoundrel's clause: that last line of Section 8 of the Constitution... the necessary and proper clause. I was planning on showing how that's exactly the

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-46678762628584683602009-09-19T17:51:00.001-05:002009-09-19T17:53:00.905-05:00

The hard hitting journalism of the Today Show's Matt Lauer amazes me. This past Friday they did a special appearance from the new Dallas Cowboy Stadium. Matt marveled at the enormity and the luxury of the world's most expensive football stadium. He went on at length with billionaire owner Jerry Jones. Mr. Jones talked about how "he built this stadium this" and "when we did that." Never at any

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-85882833353146927892009-09-05T10:11:00.003-05:002009-09-05T10:36:34.157-05:00

...or food or shelter or a job or really anything... I had intended to write a long ass sarcastic rant here... but the mood just wasn't there. I decided to go for simple... Here: Get it now?

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-12025416543651154842009-08-09T20:47:00.003-05:002009-08-09T20:59:32.331-05:00

In my continuing series of "Lessons from the middle" I've previously offered advice to both liberals and conservatives. In this bit of continuing education, I once again offer advice to those right of the center line. In this particular bit I refer to government health care. But as always: I beg you to generalize. It's about so much more than that. Now I feel I should offer a few disclaimers

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-79892495934249781532009-08-03T19:18:00.002-05:002009-08-03T19:25:49.535-05:00

Generalization. People can't do it. Take a concept, apply it elsewhere in a different, possibly wider context. Why is that so hard? Most of us remember how the Federal government spent the terms of 2 presidents pouring federal money into building the housing market "to help those that could not afford it." Most of this was done by convincing folks to borrow. And most of us can remember the

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-77306960221386385662009-07-25T15:26:00.002-05:002009-07-25T15:37:24.689-05:00

I propose the following new tax form for 2010. It won't fix all the ideological problems with taxation. But it's a damn fine start.Click to Embiggenate

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-19066537374796502042009-07-24T17:21:00.002-05:002009-07-24T17:25:53.262-05:00

...and they're more than willing to admit it. Apparently this downtown church is willing to loosen the old shackles just a wee bit if they're hurting you -- but they are in no way interested in having you remove them. You might escape.

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-56948570666770538512009-07-19T13:34:00.002-05:002009-07-19T13:41:06.951-05:00

I'm sorry. It's really the same thing said once again. Or maybe not the same thing, but a continuation. About 9 months ago, I postulated that We're Electing the Wrong People. And, since they are the wrong people, I'd also like to mention: They're doing the wrong things. And, oh my god, how wrong can they be? Those knuckleheads (and I mean pretty much all of them) shouldn't need a handbook on how

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-61821443604227725402009-07-18T22:43:00.002-05:002009-07-18T22:46:19.319-05:00

And now, for a change of pace, I'd love to give you the latest in product reviews. Welcome to: Spork's Consumer Corner. A little more than a month ago, when I drove to the next county to buy liquor (you know, because selling it here would be... wrong) I bought me a big jug of Seagram's Gin. Sure, Tanqueray is better. But I should remind you: I am a cheap ass bastard. Seagram's is good enough. A

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-90855722528446500062009-07-18T14:48:00.002-05:002009-07-18T14:53:03.709-05:00

So maybe this is a fart in church. But I'm going to say it: discrimination isn't in and of itself a bad thing. Whew. There, I said it. Now hold on there. Don't go hanging your confederate flag across the gun rack in your big bubba truck just yet. Let me finish. Typically, the American culture has defined "don't discriminate" to be "don't be stupid." And, well, that's a darn good idea. The issue

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-13584071930029637332009-07-13T09:05:00.001-05:002009-07-13T09:05:00.345-05:00

The left is upset by the Texas Governor Rick "The Hair" Perry's appointment of a creationist to run the state education board. And, yeah, they should be. Mr. Hair chose the lesser of 2 evils by taking the "little bit crazy creationist" over the "totally batshit crazy creationist" -- you know, as a sort of compromise. For the benefit of the left. You can thank him later. But I get why they're

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-47756706711560033772009-07-12T10:28:00.005-05:002009-07-12T21:17:17.079-05:00

[ Note: This was topical (maybe) a month ago when I wrote it. I sort of saw it as a reject and never published it. I know what you're thinking: "You mean, there are actually rants you rejected???" But my lack of focus has led me to go ahead and plop it down, just for fun. ]...and with the firing of Carrie Prejean, the spectacle we know of as "the beauty pageant" is fully exposed as the three

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-11339055309523614752009-06-27T08:54:00.003-05:002009-06-27T09:00:22.238-05:00

...in the 24 hour a day news coverage of Micheal Jackson's continued death I start wondering: just what is it we are so upset about?I see all these crowds of adults bawling over his passing... and flashbacks to said adults in orgasmic ecstasy just seeing this guy walk down the street under his eunuch's umbrella... or dancing on a car roof. Now, my musical tastes are so cemented in the '70s that I

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-62353763426915235632009-06-18T18:35:00.004-05:002009-06-20T16:18:36.607-05:00

Clickificate to Embigenify

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-64603746680353131672009-06-18T16:39:00.008-05:002009-06-18T17:44:18.905-05:00

[Editorial note: my one professional critic would tell me "it's too long" (if she's still reading this). Yeah, sorry. And it might be a little... over emotional. Yeah, sorry.As these things often do, this ball of bile built up from a Facebook discussion on socialized medicine .... oops, I mean Universal Health Care. They're different. Really. No, really. Hey, look, a bird.]Well, sure... we

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-76654319971680563512009-06-12T18:44:00.003-05:002009-06-12T18:55:29.926-05:00

Ok, first let me say: I know nothing about the folks that write these. But for some reason I have found them to be extremely off beat and funny. I'm not getting a free house or 0.0001 cents a click or anything. Basically this is just a sign that I've had too much time to spend giggling at other people.Your Inbox Is Full Of It - snarky replies to the load of crap well meaning do-gooders are

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-6625919717960474852009-06-10T11:03:00.003-05:002009-06-11T21:29:49.749-05:00

Even as a quitter I am a quitter. I officially accepted an offer today. Don't ask me who with -- I just sort of like to keep names and, you know, facts, out of my rantacious musings. Things are much easier when you deal with loose conjecture, rambling, lampoonery and much less subpoenable items. If your curiosity is killing you, look me up in linkedin under less pseudonymous nomenclature.

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-14868233170804106432009-06-08T10:49:00.004-05:002009-06-08T11:24:52.413-05:00

...and what the hell is her agenda? Oh, it's not an actual question -- more of a metaphorical question. I know who's watching TARP. Officially, it's Elizabeth Warren. If you're not familiar with her from the talk show circuits, let me give you the Spork's eye view: She's a Haaavad Law professor that goes on all the talk shows. She comes across as approachable and homey and then goes on to tell

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-56297964734647824282009-06-05T10:34:00.004-05:002009-06-05T10:50:47.491-05:00

[Editorial note: I am not actually taking sides on either of the following issues. And I am not really interested in arguing the specifics of either. And, in fact, I am not necessarily even presenting my own arguments here. If that's what you come away with, I didn't get my point across.] This is a tale of two subgroups. Group number one is extremely right wing politically. And extremely

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-71849226887993394052009-06-03T09:01:00.003-05:002009-06-03T09:06:37.747-05:00

Probably nearing a year ago I noticed googlepages.com was changing... and not necessarily for the better. As I actually use that as a free hosting spot for miscellany -- files and a few scripts -- I figured I might ought to look at the details.Oh cwap. It appears it is changing so much as to be unusable... and it appears the urls will not seamlessly forward/rewrite forever (if at all when it

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-49503869479490449192009-06-02T18:05:00.003-05:002009-06-02T18:12:55.233-05:00

I suck at the job interview. I truly mean that from the bottom of my blackened and shriveled heart. And it's my fault, really it is. Self promotion does not come naturally to me... and generally when I see others do their self promotion, my eyes roll back into my head and a little remote control in my head changes the channel to something more interesting. I also just have, over the years, found

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-74682766956440727622009-05-22T10:55:00.002-05:002009-05-22T11:08:22.223-05:00

This is what happens when you're walking through the woods and you aren't thinking of things that are important: You start thinking about stuff that isn't important. It was one of those times that I realized I seem to have a propensity for the underdog. 74% of the US population is christian. 1.7% is jewish, 0.7% Buddhist, 0.6% Muslim, 0.4% Hindu, 1.2% Other. I am none of the above (which puts

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-38418056612680100672009-05-20T14:06:00.002-05:002009-05-20T14:12:28.154-05:00

Interesting... I just got an official memo. I have been approved for mowing.Subject: Please open immediately. Urgent material inside. (bulk postage)Dear Farm Boy,The Flower Czar has determined that as of May 20, 2009, the following areas may be mowed:* The entire cleared "homestead" area, including up the hill towards the uphill neighbor, around the grapes/bonusberries and around the butterfly

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-42359781835691889442009-05-20T12:25:00.003-05:002009-05-20T12:29:30.100-05:00

Let met get this straight... The government wants to mandate (or up the mandate) technology with new CAFE standards. And then the government wants to actually build the cars that meet the standards. Is the next thing on the agenda a mandate as to which car I should buy? I'm just saying: this doesn't sound like it would go well. Presumably GM was already making their best guess at what was "most

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-86987509930424573292009-05-19T12:35:00.002-05:002009-05-19T12:43:08.722-05:00

Okay, there are a million guilty faces in this crisis (besides Alan Greenspan). This is only one of them. But this guy sort of makes me sick. You can read the article if you want to. (But NYT will probably make you register. I'd use bugmenot if it were me.) But whatever you do, DO NOT buy his book. You're already going to be bailing out his mortgage -- probably both on the bank end and on

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-7709009680701881752009-05-16T17:28:00.004-05:002009-05-18T16:04:29.138-05:00

As a serious proponent of capitalism, I read my handful of conservative blogs. Conservatives think they are capitalists. They're not. Anyone that can make any apology or excuse for Bush Jr. is not even close. Being a true capitalist, I also read my share of blogs that are pretty liberal. Liberals don't seem to understand economic freedom and conservatives don't seem to understand personal freedom

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-57210240813372226072009-05-05T12:06:00.002-05:002009-05-05T12:14:13.129-05:00

First off, a confession: This review is totally biased, petty and unfair. I am reviewing a book I haven't read based on comments the author has said. And I am doing it in a way that she doesn't really get a good rebuttal. That's wrong, wrong, wrong. And it's just the sort of thing she would do if this was a study on the success of low carb diets or the failure of low fat diets. It would be better

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-10803372074846269452009-04-30T14:42:00.002-05:002009-04-30T15:00:26.310-05:00

My apologies if this has been done already. I'd hate to hear "It's a Ziggy."

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-87722669708135744822009-04-29T11:07:00.006-05:002009-04-29T11:17:59.897-05:00

I am about to defend a bunch of real assholes -- no not in government, in the private sector. But sometimes you have to do it. You sometimes have to defend the porn theaters, Klansmen and Nazis in order to protect free speech. In the same regard, you have to protect the pawn shops, payday loans and credit card companies in order to protect a free economy. Don't tune out just yet. I am well aware

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-75835674336626719882009-04-27T13:15:00.001-05:002009-04-27T13:23:14.221-05:00

This is really a geek rant, but before I get off on that bit... when the hell did Suze Orman go all soft? She used to be a hard ass, tell-you-what-you-need-to-hear chick. Now she's all "poor you. It's the economy." This is the same chick that ranted and raved when folks bought more house than they could afford and leveraged it with some god awful interest only loan.... Now she's feeling all

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-90268386989259782872009-04-25T12:07:00.004-05:002009-04-25T12:37:09.634-05:00

[This is a post script to Teabagging. If you're reading this top down, you might want to read that first.]Wow. I just read Janeane Garofalo's rant on tea party supporters:"It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston tea party was about, they don't know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-50262932721431811072009-04-25T09:11:00.002-05:002009-04-25T09:25:07.017-05:00

First off, I must admit: I am a coffee drinker. Tea doesn't do it for me. That said, I like the whole tea party concept -- but I think it missed the boat. I think it was ignored. And I think I know why. First off, it got no media coverage. Oh, sure, Fox News was there -- and almost seemed to be a sponsor. This probably drove the other media outlets away. Who wants to be seen covering someone

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-12391514234867593082009-04-18T10:35:00.000-05:002009-04-18T10:45:46.819-05:00

I don't get how the media can so miss the boat on technology. And I'm not talking about splitting atoms or hacking kernels. I'm talking about just normal every day stuff that a 10 year old understands. For example, this morning on the Today Show there was a report about a murder possibly linked to an ad placed on craigslist. The story was rife with the dangers of craigslist (though it seemed to

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-57036887129611804292009-04-16T14:12:00.002-05:002009-04-16T14:19:08.490-05:00

What I have learned from watching COPs Do not ever let it be said that you cannot learn from watching TV. I have long been a fan of Fox's COPS... as well as a lot of those other crime shows (Forensic Files, 48 Hours, Dateline, etc). But also I have seen, from watching the news and the world around me, that there just are not enough people that watch these shows. If they did, they would learn

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-30520689788641282772009-04-13T16:13:00.002-05:002009-04-13T16:49:56.386-05:00

...no, I am not talking about the Environmental Protection Agency... the Enumerated Powers Act. Let me take one serious moment here. No snarkasm. No attempts at being funny or crude. Dead serious, okay? For every year since 1995, a bill has been introduced in Congress that would simply require new bills to state what part of the US Constitution gives them the authority to pass the bill. In

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-70050183314390906472009-04-12T21:11:00.002-05:002009-04-12T21:16:52.285-05:00

Well, I guess it is the religious significance of the day... One quick nod and moment of silence...for the one born of a virginfor the one killed and resurrected in the springfor the one representing new life and new birthOf course, I speak of Attis (Atys) - the reason for the season.

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-7224060642107945952009-04-10T17:36:00.010-05:002009-04-10T21:46:11.612-05:00

That's right, a taco with tongue.The raw state. Say "Aaaah"Now stop right there. Quit your bitchin and moanin and complainin and whinin. I don't want to hear that this is gross or icky or anything like that. Let's visit Aristotle for a little syllogistic happiness, shall we? Tongue is considered a delicacy in Mexico. Mexican peasant food is frickin awesome. Therefore, it is pretty gosh darn

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-45741886326667903822009-04-08T14:25:00.002-05:002009-04-08T15:22:42.937-05:00

AAA has compiled and released their computations on the cost of owning a vehicle. I think a whole lot can be learned from this... though probably not what they intended. Before I rant on... let's look at their statistics. They have computed costs both on a cost per mile basis and on a cost per year basis (assuming some average cost per mile). I first looked at the easy road and looked at the cost

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-81965679807266727562009-04-07T12:46:00.003-05:002009-04-07T12:54:37.689-05:00

It just occurred to me how much government is like IT. Maybe those of you that have never seen the interior sausage making bits of IT will get a flavor for how it works (or doesn't) based on what you know of how government works (or doesn't). First off, in IT, there is what is known as the 80-20 rule: 20% of the users consume 80% of the resources. Now, the numbers are not scientific, but they

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-61158618609899915912009-04-03T15:37:00.008-05:002009-04-06T16:07:55.261-05:00

I have failed you. I really should follow the signage on crazy vet guy's office more. I have posted one example in the past, but this guy... he takes the crazy cake.I snapped this one today:There is really nothing funnier than when someone unknowningly insults themselves. I've argued with religious folk before that the absolute pinnacle of their value system was suffering, non-self and

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-74331711395691718412009-04-02T08:00:00.002-05:002009-04-02T11:41:41.114-05:00

[Editorial note: Normally I tend to dance around language. I try to avoid terribly explicit language or overtly sexual content -- not because I give a rat's ass -- but because it's more fun to dance around it than to blurt it out. It's a ballet vs a cannonball, okay? I didn't quite manage to do that this time. Forgive me, but the inappropriate seemed... appropriate. If that bothers you, bail out

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-62100445241476256252009-04-01T16:52:00.003-05:002009-04-01T16:57:53.893-05:00

(I got them at The-walmarts, of course.)I know to most of you this is not really... newsworthy. But lets take a look at them shall we?Did you get a good look at the bag? Look closely... there at the top. Here... I'll point it out for you:Now, what on earth is the point of this? What marketing genius came up with this idea? I know what you're thinking: "It's so they are fresh from the grower

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-36287489165265809442009-03-27T10:52:00.002-05:002009-03-27T10:58:00.411-05:00

Ellie May has chastised me for not documenting my home made corned beef. My feelings were that it just wasn't that interesting. I wasn't sure it belonged in the Spork Hall of Cured Meats. But I will assure you: it was awesome. If nothing else, next time the urge hits you, do not, I repeat: do not go buy one of those sad cryovac pre-packaged thingies. No, just do it your damn self. Sure, it

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-2301265659330463412009-03-25T12:25:00.003-05:002009-06-03T22:53:41.092-05:00

I don't usually do movie reviews. And I the handful of times I have mentioned a movie it was because I liked it. Not this time. Now, I don't get out much. And I really don't go to many movies at the movie theater. Ellie May doesn't let me -- but that's another story altogether. So forgive me when I mention a movie that's 3 years old. That's what happens when you only watch Netflix and your queue

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-4594445397739597962009-03-23T20:02:00.004-05:002009-03-23T20:16:02.482-05:00

That's right, I am asking you to ignore this post entirely. It's not really important. This post is just an anchor that I can refer to in the future when I say "I told you so." You can just file it away. I'll point out when you can read it later. The lead in story on today's NBC Nightly News was that the government will team up with hedge funds to buy up bad debt. This reveals the following

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-20786885579768287432009-03-20T21:57:00.004-05:002009-03-20T22:05:37.481-05:00

That's right... this spork comes straight from the state department of corrections. A gift for me from a friend.I have half a mind to make a shiv out of it.

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-11406134393048063502009-03-17T15:08:00.002-05:002009-03-17T15:11:33.569-05:00

Caution: proceed only if equipped with DramamineI wish I had captured firefox while he/she was in debug mode. I.e.: it was doing great playful leaps while catching bugs. But, alas, I did not. As usual, it is pretty much unafraid of us. It hung around for 5 minutes or so while I snapped pics.

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-65810984013092751832009-03-17T12:32:00.003-05:002009-03-17T12:40:04.339-05:00

I repeat myself. A lot. But I've said that before.AIG, America's favorite socialist whipping boy, is back in the news. Let's go over the particulars, shall we? I'll not use the names of presidents as there has been more than one involved and picking one or the other always seems divisive -- and they're both equally stupid on the matter. Let's use the name "Congress" where the real blame

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-53383594170456263382009-03-15T10:53:00.001-05:002009-03-15T11:40:07.171-05:00

The tragic break-ups of a failed Vice Presidential candidate's daughter is not news -- even if she is pregnant. In fact, the private lives of the non-famous children of famous people just isn't news ever. And for the most part, winning Vice Presidents themselves are not even news unless they are running the country from the back seat or shooting someone in the face with a shotgun. The

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-12095395519563157192009-03-11T20:18:00.005-05:002009-06-03T22:56:00.094-05:00

Click graph to embiggenateAs a self admitted Geek, I felt it was my job -- no, my responsibility -- to document the origins of my subspecies. Since Geeks have had historical difficulties meeting and mating with the opposite sex, there is the distinct possibility of the collapse of the species. Therefore, it needs to be written down in history for the ages. As I researched this complex piece, I

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-57966349240467372572009-03-07T16:55:00.003-06:002009-03-07T17:15:53.908-06:00

Okay, this rant is accidental. I'll try to keep it short. I'll not attack the entire topic, but at least this will keep me from yelling it at Ellie May or scribbling it on someone else's facebook profile. First, my qualifications: I have lived very close to and somewhat inside the medical profession all my life, though I have no actual medical training. I just know a little of what goes on

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-67660314052363629782009-03-07T10:40:00.004-06:002009-06-03T22:57:47.368-05:00

Just a quick blurb to note that we have brave, proud Sporksters now in Moscow. I have now penetrated the iron curtain. I wonder if I need to start putting some backwards letters in here so they can fully understand my Яaиty truth.(In reality, I expect my Rooskie hits are from some funny sailor hat wearing Swede.)

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-64704092161035544372009-03-05T13:14:00.004-06:002009-03-05T15:42:16.253-06:00

[Editorial Note: Forgive me here for being a little esoteric. It's how my brain works. And while I might categorize this as a rant, it is almost (but not quite) a ramble. But if I have to start making in-between categories (rantble? ramblant?) I will just end up with too many SporkTags] I was sitting there innocently listening to one of the Octomom's interviews and she said something that

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-87331032044560360612009-02-27T11:02:00.003-06:002009-02-27T11:10:55.094-06:00

My tragedyPersonal emergencies have left me out of the tin shed for a while. And I guess you know what this means. Correct: the free space on my TiVo has rapidly declined. As you can see from the graph the cruft in the multimedia filesystem actually dipped near zero. Shudder. Shiver.Your tragedyAnd of course, I feel your pain as well. My absence has left you without ranty opinion that is so

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-90852757358183972962009-02-20T16:07:00.008-06:002009-06-03T22:51:40.521-05:00

Released: 14:11, 20 February 2009 (CST) This is notification that the Garden 2.0 system is officially released. Please take the time to read through these release notes as this information may be important for your continued access and operation of the Garden 2.0 system.Upgrade Issues/ProceduresDuring the upgrade, firewalls were disabled. In some cases it became common for Garden users to access

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-75313578983505037482009-02-19T08:46:00.001-06:002009-02-19T08:51:42.782-06:00

It is strange to me that politicians do not study history. Sure they look for sound bites and fictionalize some real historical characters to make them heroes or villains. But it seems they pay more attention to reruns of Laverne and Shirley than they do to history. And what is of even more concern is that they cannot even remember recent history -- like what happened a year or two ago. The

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-12462749056486571412009-02-17T23:38:00.004-06:002009-02-17T23:50:49.654-06:00

Okay, I am well aware there is a last name pronounced Moe-Ran. That's totally beside the fact. I've watched enough Bugs Bunny cartoons and read enough Fark to know that moran and maroon are both valid synonyms for moron.Normally, I am not a fan of marketing. Seriously. I find marketing to basically be the art of selling me crap I don't want or need to buy. It is so... Ark Ship B. But in

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-27250296008725481212009-02-08T11:31:00.005-06:002009-02-10T12:52:59.187-06:00

"They did not choose more of the same in November ... They did not send us here to turn back to the same tried and failed approaches that were rejected because we saw the results. They sent us here to make change with the expectation that we would act."Oh thank god. Finally someone understands. So... we are not going to use the same failed approaches of the previous administration (and the

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-76063275151530227932009-02-05T07:46:00.002-06:002009-02-05T07:53:50.985-06:00

I am reminded of a scene from Four Weddings and a Funeral. It's been a long time since I saw it so let the corrections to my adapted misquote go:Sam was a bastard. He was sort of bitchy and always backtalked everything you said to him. But he was my bastard. He was my bastard in that, in a way, he was my first cat. Not the first cat in my life, but the first I ever really bonded with. Maybe

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-11130664701956931362009-02-04T20:47:00.004-06:002009-02-04T21:04:36.953-06:00

[Editorial note(s): It appears I am now taking requests. I would explain, but I won't. I could say it's a long story, but it isn't. It's just not a particularly good story. I never miss an opportunity to plug the band Apocalyptica, so I was sneaky on putting that in the title, though it has no bearing whatsoever on the rant. If you've never heard Metallica played on the cello, your life is

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-13071141231813010192009-02-03T15:53:00.008-06:002009-02-03T16:08:58.042-06:00

oh cwap. You mean to tell me that my 9 year old Windows operating system that I use once a year for taxes is going to have to be replaced!?! (That's tongue in cheek, we all know a usable windows 2000 did not exist in the year 2000. Its probably only 7 or 8 years old.) Does it matter that I haven't had a job in 2 years and don't owe any taxes?I demand Ubuntu Turbo Tax.

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-37935303788224348862009-02-02T16:27:00.003-06:002009-02-02T16:57:01.936-06:00

I am not a sports fan. That may come as a real shock that a heterosexual American male couldn't give a rats ass about sports -- but its a fact. It probably comes from a geeky upbringing where I was always dead last in a race and spent more time on the bench than on a field. "That's okay Sporky. Did you know Babe Ruth had the highest strike out record in the league?"No, actually I didn't. I

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-87565001609377580462009-01-30T19:07:00.006-06:002009-01-30T19:28:18.779-06:00

I would call it "first annual." But there are a bunch of things wrong with that. The obvious is the picky gripe that the first in a series is not the "first annual." There actually has to be 2 of them to qualify. (I am still guilty on that charge.) Secondly, annual seems like a long ass time. And third: I find it really hard to tie myself down to a calendar based schedule. It just is not

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-39824870249976669612009-01-29T10:53:00.003-06:002009-01-29T11:21:04.177-06:00

I have been biting my lip for a couple of days. You see, there is this idiot in congress.... (Hold on. I crack myself up. As if there was one idiot in congress...) Anyway, there's this idiot in congress that wants to make it illegal for your cell phone to take pictures without going 'click'.I think everyone's first thought is "oh good. We've solved all the other problems in the world. Now

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-30309363488306474662009-01-29T09:39:00.005-06:002009-01-29T10:06:59.635-06:00

It was only yesterday when Walter Williams explained how economic stimulus works. Or doesn't. I encourage you to read it.This morning on the news, in an ironic 60 second bit on the stimulus package we were given a startling example. Irony is always funny. But when the folks saying the irony don't realize what they've said, it is all the more fun.The bit starts with how all the infighting is

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-29134190310979940092009-01-26T08:18:00.004-06:002009-01-26T08:32:08.212-06:00

For some odd reason, I've always liked the woodpecker. They seem particularly happy. And of all of the woodpeckers, my favorite is the pileated -- the one Woody Woodpecker was fashioned from. Ever since we moved to the woods, we've had a pair. They are very shy. They seem to have a strong mate bond (or she distrusts his cheating bastard ways). You never see one without either seeing the

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-79728385841054535112009-01-22T08:42:00.003-06:002009-01-22T08:46:15.438-06:00

Okay, it was sort of silly that they made Obama retake the oath of office because it was slightly wrong the first time. But, for one small moment, let's assume that he needed to. If that's the case, he still isn't president.Take One: I do solemnly swear that I will execute the Office of President of the United States faithfully, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-73754577452061549992009-01-21T12:43:00.002-06:002009-01-21T12:49:13.907-06:00

I am a skeptic. I am a skeptic about pretty much everything -- a "Show Don't Tell" sort of guy. So while the majority of the world seems all a titter over Obama, I don't. I don't hate him (yet). I just don't get all a titter. Don't get me wrong: I am not a Bush apologist. But just because I don't like Bush does not mean I do like Obama. It's not either-or, okay? I guess the optimism of the

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-11058207895724431492009-01-19T15:44:00.002-06:002009-01-19T15:53:51.456-06:00

[Note: With this installment, Spork Industries Incorporated (A SporkCo Company) is proud to introduce a new feature: The ramble. The ramble is a disjointed uninterrupted thought about very little or nothing -- the voices in the head of an alcoholic street person with multiple personalties. Run-on sentence you say? Fie on you.]There are too many whiners in the world. And there are just too

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-23506280561246774562009-01-13T10:30:00.004-06:002009-01-13T10:46:42.186-06:00

I am totally busted.According to this article, the funny hat wearing head of the Catholic church is cracking down on phony arbitrary visions of the slightly tarnished Mary like mine. (As opposed to the "real" visions of a 2000 year old dead figure who's actual existence is arguable in the first place.)Some highlights from the article [with snarky comments]:"In some cases exorcists will be used

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-11274445886979971922009-01-08T10:50:00.004-06:002009-01-08T11:00:22.781-06:00

As I pointed out before the awesome unexplained miracle does happen. And it sets your spine a tingle. Imagine my surprise when visiting my sister to see the image of the virgin Mary appearing in dog slime on her dog door. (By now, she is probably "the only slightly tarnished Mary". It has been 2000 years, though. Give her a break.) This, my friends, is way better than "Mary on a sandwich"

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-36900901122111229352009-01-05T10:55:00.004-06:002009-01-05T11:02:30.242-06:00

As of this morning (at midnight) I want you to know you are all officially "on notice." If your damn Christmas decorations (or Kwanzaa or Hanukkah or whatever) are still up, you will be dutifully reported to the Christmas police.As you should be aware, holiday decorations are regulated and monitored by international committee. The Global Regulation of International Christmas Holiday Committee (

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-10902777229156538232008-12-29T10:24:00.004-06:002008-12-29T11:00:11.562-06:00

I know what you are thinking.... I should have posted this before the blessed Solstice event. But I might firstly say I didn't think of it. And secondly: I didn't have examples.A few weeks before the holidays, I heard more than one chick ask what the hell to buy her significant other. They think we are so complicated. And we are so damn simple. Here is a quick guide:Tools. I suggested this

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7934471946563347537.post-90496551240659697892008-12-23T12:31:00.004-06:002008-12-23T14:04:28.770-06:00

I am a geek. I embraced that fact long ago. But there is more than one way to be a geek. It's not all pocket protectors, homebuilt computers and glasses with tape on it. I am also sort of a financial geek. No, I am not a multi-million dollar market maker. But I watch the market, read some number of books and watch a whole lot of financial TV. One (of many) I watch is Suze Orman -- who I

Spork In the Eyehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05926832985660342541noreply@blogger.com5